


family plans

by menecio



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Blanket Permission, Established Relationship, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Pregnancy Scares, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-12
Updated: 2019-02-12
Packaged: 2019-10-27 04:13:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17759555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/menecio/pseuds/menecio
Summary: “You are male, Jim.”“Are you saying men can’t get pregnant?”





	family plans

Their morning after doesn’t start the way it usually does. Kirk wakes up with the sun in his face, which is strange enough for a man who’s been living in space for over seven years. He squints into the sunlight for a moment, then rolls over to nuzzle Spock, who surfaces from his light meditative state with a slow blink.

“Morning,” Kirk says into the crook of Spock’s neck.

Spock gives a low hum in greeting. Kirk kisses his clavicle, then gets out of bed to look for his clothes. He has no intention of getting dressed yet, but he likes shaking out his pieces of clothing and draping them over the decorative chair Spock for some reason has in a corner of the room. It helps him pretend he can avoid doing the laundry for another day.

Spock watches Kirk move around the room, the lines of his face still soft in the early light, and provides the location of Kirk’s left sock when Kirk can’t find it. Kirk tosses his socks onto the chair, where they soon are joined by his trousers and cardigan. His clothes handled, Kirk saunters his way back to bed in his white briefs and undershirt, which by the looks of it still seems to be too much clothing in a certain Vulcan’s opinion. He crawls over the mounds of blanket until he’s sprawled over Spock.

“Hey, you.”

“You are heavy.”

“You’re three times stronger than me.”

“The fact that you are a grown Human male with a compact athletic physique remains.”

“Spock,” Kirk laughs, “did you just call me chunky?”

“That is what you have chosen to infer.”

“Because that’s what you chose to imply, sugar.” Jim waggles his eyebrows. “Got a spare brush?”

“In the cabinet, next to a bottle of your preferred mouthwash.”

Kirk smiles with no reservations. They have been on Earth for less than thirty hours. He has no idea how or when Spock managed to stock up his old flat, and with things as inconsequential as Kirk’s preferred mouthwash. It makes the place feel homely. Like they’ve always lived in these rooms on the twelfth floor of this building in San Francisco.

Kirk pecks Spock on the lips. “You’re awesome.”

He crawls off the bed. Spock watches him disappear into the bathroom and not activate the door to slide closed, as per usual. He hears the soft beep of the faucet, then water rushing down the sink, and finally the telltale sounds of Jim washing his face.

Spock gets out of bed and slips on his night robe. He grabs his PADD from the bedside table and gets back onto the mattress with the pillows propping him upright. He checks his inbox and the news feed, all the while attempting to calculate their chances of having breakfast in bed without becoming sidetracked and making a mess.

“You said cabinet, right?” Jim’s voice floats over. “Sink or mirror?”

“Sink. To the left.”

“Gotcha.” The bathroom fills with rummaging noises, then silence descends. “Er . . . Spock?” Jim walks into the bedroom just as Spock looks up. He’s holding an unopened pregnancy test with a strange look on his face. “Why do you have this?”

“Nyota must have left it behind when she retrieved her belongings.”

Jim grimaces through a nod. He still feels uncomfortable whenever Spock and Uhura’s previous relationship comes up, ill-at-ease with the topic despite their amicable break-up. Spock knows he feels responsible for their failed romance, but if Jim is to blame for the emotions he rouses in Spock, then Spock is to blame for not being able to control them.

“Right,” Jim says. “Should’ve guessed that.”

“Indeed.”

Jim’s grimace turns into a smirk. “Had lots of pregnancy scares?”

“I had none,” Spock says, lowering his PADD. “Nyota, however, had one, and she decided to stock up in order to be prepared if the situation ever repeated itself.”

“How come she had a scare but you didn’t?” Jim squints and tilts his head. “Isn’t that sexist?”

“Logic dictated that she was not pregnant; it was biologically impossible. I attempted to tell her as much, but her worries were not rational. She could only be assuaged”—he gestures at the small rectangular box Jim is holding—“in this way.”

“And you agreed to indulge her.”

“Of course.”

“Despite the illogic of it.”

“It was necessary for her, thus not unwise.”

“Hmm. Well, if we have it,” Jim reaches for his briefs’ waistband with a grin, “might as well use it.”

Spock frowns. “You are male, Jim.”

“Are you saying men can’t get pregnant?”

“I am saying that you, as a Human with a male reproductive system, cannot.”

“System, schmystem.”

Jim waves a hand and walks back into the bathroom. Spock hears him rip open the pregnancy test’s packet. A few seconds later, Jim relieves himself with a low groan. He flushes the toilet once he’s done.

“How long does this thing take?”

“Three minutes.”

“That’s ages.”

“Certain chemical reactions cannot be rushed without risk of compromising the results.”

“Yeah, I know. Still, three minutes. If I were actually waiting to know if I’m pregnant, the suspense would be killing me. Anyway, toothbrush.”

There is a clack—Jim putting down the pregnancy test—and then a beep as the water starts running again. Spock hears Jim wash his hands, then fish out the toothbrush from under the sink and start brushing his teeth. One point six minutes later, Jim spits violently into the sink.

“Holy shit.”

Spock blinks. He sets aside the PADD. “Jim?”

“Spock.” Jim appears at the doorway, eyes wide. The corners of his lips are foamy. There’s a toothbrush on his right hand and a pregnancy test on the other. “Can Vulcans get Human males pregnant?”

Spock stares, then stands up and slowly extends a hand. Jim steps forward and hands him the test. Indubitably, the small screen on the handle displays the word PREGNANT. Spock looks up at Jim. “You are not a transexual man.”

“Obviously,” Jim says, pointing at his crotch. “If I were, I would’ve asked for two more inches.”

“Your actual size is satisfactory,” Spock replies distractedly, looking back down at the test. He brushes past Jim into the bathroom. “Where is the test’s box?”

“Trash.”

Spock retrieves it, then scans the small box’s written information. Behind him, Jim makes quick work of rinsing his mouth. When Spock finds what he was looking for, an irrational sense of both relief and disappointment washes over him.

“This test is well past its expiration date.”

“It is?” Jim leaves the toothbrush on the sink and hooks his chin over Spock’s shoulder, hands resting on his waist. Spock holds the box higher so Jim can read. “Oh. I hadn’t seen that.”

“Had you done so, you would not have thought yourself to be with child,” Spock turns his head enough so Jim can see him eyebrow arch up, “even though your body is incapable of such a feat.”

“Stranger things have happened to us.” Jim shrugs, then asks, “Is it weird that I’m a bit sad about it?”

“Yes.”

Jim gives Spock an offended mock-slap over his navel, then slips a hand into the night robe. “Rude.”

“Sincere.”

“I just like the idea,” Jim says, his breath hot against Spock’s neck. His arms wrap tighter around Spock’s waist. “Kids, with you. Any kind. We’d make okay parents. It’s probably a good thing we can’t make babies with our combined DNA, though. They’d probably destroy the universe. So adoption. Eventually. Someday?”

Spock lets the faulty pregnancy test fall into the bin along with its package. He raises his hand to pet Jim’s hair, leaning back into his captain’s golden warmth. “I would not be opposed to the idea, once our duties are completed.”

“Will they ever be?”

“Someday.” Spock kisses Jim’s temple. “Eventually.”

**Author's Note:**

>  **Prompt:** https://hopelesslylost37.tumblr.com/post/129256414709/ “Imagine your OTP going through a pregnancy scare because of a highly defective at-home pregnancy test. Bonus if your OTP is M/M or F/F. Why they would take a pregnancy test in the first place is up to you.”


End file.
